Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Human Nature

My Grandmother Ruby said, "the trouble with riding a high horse is that it is such a long way to the ground". Unfortunately, I just don't think that I look good riding those little Humble Ponies around. I start to feel the need to be way up there looking down on the rest of the world. Humble be darned! When I’m right, I’m right!

I start to become annoyed with people that are not quite as smart as me, or as aware of their surroundings, or what’s going on. In my mind, it's those people that are most near me; to the point that I wonder how such stupid people even feed themselves. They make mistakes, they get in my way, they interrupt me when I talk, they park in my space, make my coffee wrong, scare the crap out of me by screaming in the park, and just become generally annoying.

I do my best to give them instructions on how to become better people. I leave notes, and signs on how to not use my loading dock, how to not park in my spot, and other instructions, but they still do things just to annoy me. I’ve even noticed that when I try to back out of my parking space that people will stop just were I want to go, and look at me expectantly, like they are waiting for me to do something. I have to get out of my truck walk over to them, remind myself no matter how annoying that these people are becoming, I just have to be polite, because human beings are supposed to be nice to one another. I say something nice, like; “Pardon me sir, but if you are waiting for me, I was intending to back out right here where you are, so if you are not parked there, it is okay to go ahead and drive on”. They will say something like; “Oh, okay, I just didn’t want to run into you”. I say something like; “Thanks” Then I get back in my truck and start to back out again, and then see that somebody else is behind me, waiting to see what I'm going to do.

I started backing my truck into my parking spot, so I could just pull out. To back in, I have to pull across the road, then back into my spot. I use my flashers so everybody knows that I’m attempting to do something dangerous, then I put my truck into reverse so the back-up lights come on. That gives people around me a clear indication that I intend to back up. I check all of my mirrors and start to back in, invariably I will find someone parked behind me, politely waiting to see what I intend to do, so they don’t run into me... Out of the truck… Be polite… “Pardon me sir…

These same people are out there on the roads all the time, I often wonder how they get from “point A”, to “point B” without killing themselves. I often fantasize about them being parked under a ten-ton rock careening off a bluff, with them politely parked under it, waiting to see what it’s going to do. I'm caused to wonder; am I the only one that is just inherently evil, or do other people also notice how annoying people are becoming, and secretly hope for them to come to a fitting and appropriate end?

We have a new employee that is is a wonderful person, doing a great job. We are very happy to have her. She is willing and accommodating. She started making the coffee in the mornings. Being the jerk that I am, I started to tease her about being a woman that would still make the office coffee. Making the coffee has become a male job traditionally, because women “don't make, or pack coffee” nowadays. It's now considered demeaning to make coffee or do windows. I don't fully understand it because I'm, not only a jerk, I am also a sexist. So, I've noticed that there is a difference between men and women. She made coffee the other morning and she forgot to put the water in the hopper. She was embarrassed, but she shared it with us, and we all got a good laugh at her expense. Shortly after that she filled the hopper with water and put the coffee grounds in with no filter. She also shared that with us. We teased her about her lumpy coffee. Then she made coffee with no grounds, and we teased her. I told her that she should keep trying and not give up because I was rather enjoying the fact that someone was willing to make the coffee besides me. I was beginning to feel sorry for her though, and thought maybe I should take my old job back. I was beginning to feel a little evil, knowing that I was, really, the only one that knew how to make coffee correctly.

People have become so annoying to me lately that when I'm out driving, I notice that people speed up and slow down just to get in my way. I've even considered signaling a left turn when I actually intend to turn right, just to fool people into staying out of my way. I figured that if they saw my left turn signal on they would move over there to get in my way, and I could just smoothly turn to the right. Genius!

The other morning I came to work about 7:00 a.m. There was only about two cars in town. I signaled for a right turn onto Church street, and sure enough, the car in front of me pulls right onto church street in front of me. I smile a little to myself, because there are parking spots all over, and surely this guy won't be in my way. Imagine my rage when I see this guy cruise right into MY parking spot. Where I pay the rent! I pulled up, and impolitely said: “There must be a thousand parking spots in Garberville this morning, why did you have to park right in MY work area.?” He politely said: “I'll be just a minute.” and went about his business. I started to seethe, and think about how many times I had to politely wait, while someone parked sideways, right across, and totally blocking, three available parking spots. I started to explain to him how unfair it was for me to have to wait for my parking spot, but bit my tongue and shut-up after two or three unintelligible words. He said, “What?” I sensed that my greatly detailed explanation wasn't going to go well, and said angrily “Go ahead and take your minute, I'll just wait”. Well that pissed him off, and he got in his car and sped off. I thought, “good, I should be more firm about my parking spot.”

Later that week, I came back to the shop in the middle of the afternoon and found someone parked in my spot. I did notice that the car was parked correctly, and very neatly. I pulled up behind the car and started my thousand times a day routine of asking all of the neighboring businesses if they knew who's car it was, and how long they were going to be there, because that is the only place that I can park my truck and tools so I can work in the shop. I got as far as the flower shop and “Nope”, they didn't know who's car it was. The Benevolent Society of Park Providers tore up the local parking lot to turn it into Paradise, now everybody has been parking in my spot. I decided that I would have to be very firm about MY spot or it was going to get taken over by the Church Street customers. I asked the lady at the flower shop to tell whoever was driving the car that “I would be just a minute”, and left my truck in the middle of the street behind them. I had to chuckle at my wit and one-up-manship.

As I was working, I kept looking out to see if anyone had come back. I didn't notice anyone for quite a while then I looked harder and saw someone politely waiting for me to return. Feeling a little sheepish about leaving someone setting there, I tempered the go-off that I had planned. The womans polite demeanor disarmed me to a certain extent, but I decided that I had to explain “the rules” anyway. So I shook my finger at the faded worn out “No Parking” sign and explained about how this was the only place that I could park my truck. I expected the usual combativeness about “not being able to see that sign”, or they were only going to be “just a minute”. But the young lady only politely apologized and left. I went back inside feeling like a jerk, but justifying to myself that I had to be firm.

Just as I was congratulating myself for fitting my “High Horse” so well, and how things were getting much better, now that I was getting everyone trained. For some strange reason things started to go wrong. I went in and made some coffee. I forgot to put the pot under the drip-dropper thingee, and coffee, coffee grounds, and water went all over the kitchen counter, into all the drawers and across the floor. I decided that I had better clean it up before anyone noticed. As I turned around, part of our crew was standing there. They were greatly enjoying my humility. With great big grins they said in unison, like in a Hughie, Dewie, and Lewie cartoon, “We're gonna tell!”.

I noticed that the people that like to scream in the park aren't nearly as friendly to me as they used to be, before I accused them of participating in “Hippy Bullshit” by screaming and scaring into me into running to save them. I just wrote it off as sour grapes, but I get that strange niggley little feeling that they think that I crossed out of bounds.

Then the real kicker came to me. The one that pointed out that maybe I was sitting a little too high on my High Horse. It came when I found out that the young lady that I chased out of my parking spot, was none other than Suzy Blah Blah. Talk about feeling like a total jerk.

I had decided a long time ago that I would never bust anyone that posted on my blog anonymously, I haven't yet, and I never will. So, the most that I can tell you about miss Suzy Blah Blah is that she is just exactly as you have pictured her in your mind.

So.... Now for the good part. I've decided that I don't want to be mean anymore. Not that I don't LIKE being mean, it's just that I've noticed that life has a way of beating on people that are mean to others.

So, if you see me riding around on my “Humble Pony”, you will know why. I'm going to take down all of my nasty, mean spirited signs. Okay, I have to leave a few up, like the one warning people not to engage in any body functions on the loading dock. But, I'm going to stop posting the pictures from the closed circuit TV camera on the lunchroom monitor. And I'm going to have to keep the “No Parking” signs up, but I'm going to change them to say “Special Parking Only”, and say: “Except for Suzy Blah Blah, who may park here anytime”.

My most humble apologies Suzy...

Ummmm... Does anyone really think I should be forgiven? I'm not Catholic, or I would just slip the Pope some coin. I guess if I going to be a humanist I'm going to have to start being more human. Payback's a bitch!

New sign on loading dock.

51 comments:

Ernie Branscomb said...

This just in!

Another Suzy Blah Blah fan, and the butt of her considerable wit a few times, just notified me that after checking with the stars and astrological charts. And, the fact that she once provided us with a few clues as to her birthday and point of her being concieved.

THIS IS HER BIRTDAY WEEK!!! we think...

So happy birthday Suzy Blah Blah! We hope it is a great one!

kymk said...

In my opinion, anyone who makes me laugh so hard my jaws ache ought to be given a free pass on just about anything but straight up murder.

Ernie, you set my day off right. And scared me a bit too. I think I won't even get on a humble pony today. I think I'll walk but with a great big grin.

Anonymous said...

I believe you deserve to be forgiven. I sympathize with your frustration driving around town. I have often dubbed it "Idiot Driver Day" when having a bad time, but like you when I have been frustrated enought to express it (in my own passive aggressive way) I have suffered the old "what comes around goes around". I like my pony... he's cute and he saves me from unnecessary bruises.

Suzy, HappyHappy JoyJoy - birthday or not
SHB

suzy blah blah said...

omg!!! that was u mr. E? WoW! thats toltaly snynchronisticity in action. Suzy just thought it was a mere employee of BC, but it turns out it was the C himself!! er I mean the B himself. Anyway, to think that this little miracle happened on Church Street. Holy Moley jeze whiz onna cracker!! It looks like a higher intelligent designer is at work hear. Or play... And to think that also your disciple, the astrologer, somehow mysteriously gnows that Suzys burthday is this week!! (the 13th). You nailed me! But at least you didnt give me a pinch to grow an inch. OK OK im a believer.

Dont worry too much about busting me though Mr E. Suzy will be highly recognizable when i'm Cruz'n with my new bumper sticker. Suzys printing it out right now --oooh here it comes, oh oh it looks way cewl and the colors are Rasta colors to complement the no parking sign, it says --
There Are Many Mysteries But Only One Mr. E


And folks, you may wanna consider joining the mystery cult of Mr. E. We believe in living foregivness and riding high, but on either a bong hit or a beer before dinner, NOT a horse (unless it's a nice horse) and never in a car (unless the car is parked and your blocked in so you reach over and hit a roach and everythings mellow and then a miricle or two happens and then presto manifesto your home typing about it all and there's still one piece of left-over birthday cake in the frig). There are stringent tests that you will have to pass like maybe making coffee or boiling water. You may even have to explain why a tree grows sound in the forest --is it the roots or your ears that make it sound? But Suzy can almost half guarantee that there are will be many advantages not the least of which are things like parking privileges.

beep beep im outa here,
s

spyrock said...

john david wathen was born in indiana. wylackie john as he was later called had registered in the 1855 trinity guard military roll and was employed on the nome lackee reservation. his name continued to appear on the list of employees until it was abandoned. wathen had much influence among the indians because he could speak their language and was of great service to the indian agents. wathen became george white's right hand man until wathen's death in 1888. he was medium height, soft-spoken and quiet mannered with long, blond hair which flowed over his shoulders. it was remarkable that he did not smoke or chew tobacco and dressed well for the mountain country. he was suave and polite to the local people, touching his hat and asking about their health. wathen's outward kindness was the very opposite of the interior soul of this man, as unscrupulous a man who ever lived.
a real snake in the grass.
reading ernie on human nature reminded me of what happened to me every time i got on my high horse about something or someone pissing me off, either my mom or uncle delbert would nail me. and nail me good. to them it didn't matter what someone else did to make you mad. it only matters how you respond and if you didn't respond with respect then you got nailed. with people like wylackie john around when they growed up, i can finally understand their concern. showing respect to everyone kept you alive in those days. and its a good practice these days. i'm sort of like ernie in that even though nobody is around to whup my ass anymore, i still can never seem to get away with stuff like blocking someone in my parking place. and look who it was, the birthday girl, susie cha cha creamcheese. happy birthday girl. are you a june bug or a may baby?

AnonymousE said...

Welcome to the Highly Anonymous inner circle Suzy. We welcome you as High Priestess of the Mysteries of Mister E. Your identity is safe, Mister E. doesn't even tell his disciples the secret names.
Parking privileges for enhanced shopper gatherer forays, and easy access to the coming Paradise. Mister E. honors you.

Happy birthday whenever it was that you had cake left over from a week ago...can't believe Mister E listens to astrologers now, but if it brings us to salute you for your special prescence on the blogs...our 1 Tru SuZ whuz views amuse! Blah Blah forever!

Ernie ...your eloquent Rooneyesqe description of "dismounting" was a hoot and a half! The best part of remounting after a fall from the high horse is the new perspective gained. Your human nature is ours too, so thanks for the laughter at ourselves as well.

Ernie Branscomb said...

Hey! Where'd that guy get my "Humble Pony"

Anonymous said...

Ride'm cowboy on your "humble pony". I, too, had aching jaws and laughed my arse off. (wish it were that easy).
cousin

suzy blah blah said...

happy birthday girl. are you a june bug or a may baby?hey Spy, thanx, Suzys a May-bug, May 28th, i was just tryin to tease the astrology dude when i said the 13th, it was Suzys bad joke. But everyone makes a faw-poe now and then. My apologies to the wizard. Suzy needs to give credit where credit is due he and Ernie actually figured it out somehow! i havent the faintest idee how. Ernie said i "provided a few clues"? Huh? But its true that Ernies astrological adviser had my birthday week correct. Sheeesh! makes me feel naked, what else does Ernie and his committee of occult experts know about Suzy? There are astrologers and gnostics and black magicians and black belts and things like that amongst the crowd that Mr. E runs with. And they are all serious researchers and re-researchers.

i dont want this to dragon much longer so this is my apology. But it's also a warning. The readers of this blog need to be careful not to provide clues, Nobody wants some gang of sharp operators to be stealing your whole identity. i mean like what would Suzy do without her identity? Have an identity crisis, of course, and that means drugs and therapist bills and worst of all --Suzy would have to buy or grow a new screenname. Does anybody out there even care? I'm in big trouble now or at least on the brink of it. I just hope nobody steals my avatar pic that i stole from Cristina. No they cant have my eagle, its mine, mine i tell you. Did you ever notice the airplanes and helicopters hanging from the ceiling in Ernies shop? Whats with that? Are they drones? Do they perhaps have cameras in them? Or maybe little identity sniffing dogs?

looking over my shoulder,
s

ps, Spy, your not really a "spy" are you?

Ernie Branscomb said...

Suzy Blah Blah.
Yes, those are all drone spy planes and helocopters hanging from the cieling. I use them to watch for people parking in my spot. I'm like the little C.I.A. or something. But, don't worry us super sluthes never slip an identity, and if something really revealing ever happens, Nancy Pelosie claims that we are all a bunch of liars and nobody believes us anyway.

Just for you can rest easy, I don't know who you are for real, and I am happy to know you as Suzy Blah Blah. You had a nice cover on your birthday, I believed it, You should have stuck with the ruse. Or did you fool us again. Dang! You are just too clever!

suzy blah blah said...

I knew it! The B.C.i.A. (notice how i dotted my i --like Ernie did on the parking sign --its templar code --they make their 'i' small like a squinting eye, i can almost feel it looking at me). The BCiA and they meet under the sign of the Blue Moon. Thats what the dot on the eye means --its the moon. ive secured that much info so far. Suzys not sure what that means but its a clue that i saw in the archives. Its a conspiracy. Suzy has the clues recorded in my files. The black belt and the blue moon, theres also something about a river, and a rabbit, or a bunny, and drone airplanes making crisscross blog pattered puzzles, and theres also a spy, or a counter spy, im not sure but i have clues that point to him being either a rock star spy, or a member of the Neil Cassidy gang. He once tossed puplic information out of a library window, its all in Suzys files, not to mention 'the Robin', that one's the hardest nut to crack, im sure the Robin is close the the center of the Inner Circle of the BCiA. Suzys still trying to crack the code on the Robin --what ive got so far is that her name is an anagram for "born i", its a code for "I and I' the Rastafarian connection to Laytonville is tied in some way to the Robin. im only blah blah blahing about this becuz if i keep silent i may disappear, ive done it before and i could do it again, but i dont want to, Suzy likes it here too much... but you never can tell LOL, (noel noel no lsd) but so im only compelled to be spilling the beans at this time cuz i somehow unwittingly infiltrated the inner circle of the organization when i parked in the wrong spot the other day. now i am blowing the whistle loUD becuz, uh, bucuz Suzys not so good at screaming, i wish i was like the sreamers on the plaza that freaked Mr. E but im not, so Suzy got a whistle, and ... where am i? oh thats right i was talking about disappearing, like i had a dream that me and Oregon were in Alaska together and he was cutting this humongous tree and then the tree turned into a mushroom and we ate it and then... --then i woke up.

spyrock said...

spyrock is not my real name. when you buy a computer, they ask you to come up with a screenname and hopefully its something that no one else has chosen. that was 20 years ago. in the process, spyrock means much more to me than just the place where my mom grew up. its one of those words that people can't download right off. there's always people who think i said skyrock. in other words, it represents a crack or rabbit hole into another dimension. one where you might not know everything all ready.
i like robin but bluejays are my allies. my ancestors visit me as bluejays. they like to eat a certain color of atta cat, the yellow ones. they've lived around my ponds for years.
we did nothing that tom hanks didn't do, the pope had ordered the catholic church to supress all the kerouac books so groovy liberated them. within a few months they locked him up in the fourth floor of merrick hospital in berkely and kept him on thorozine for 4 years, i think ken kesey was there too because it sure looked like the same movie every time i would visit groovy. nurse rachet. the whole crew were there. after 4 years groovy got a paper saying that he was legally sane which i don't think many of the rest of us have.
i guess you have to take a ton of thorozine to qualify. as you may have guessed i have already decided to add skyrock as a screenname because you get tired of the same ole rabbit hole.

suzy blah blah said...

if you go far enough down the rabbit hole you get to China and if you keep going in the same direction youll get to the sky. But to get to Alaska --go through 'Oregon'
;o)

OMR said...

Reresearchers can be soooo annoying. Now suz, you are using a classic misdirection on those to the sky instructions. My new National Geographic tells us that straight through the earth from here dumps one into the cold Indian Ocean midway between Madagascar and the Antarctic. Technically, to go straight through the earth to China, one needs to leave from Chile or Argentina. I will never believe a Bugs Bunny cartoon again, unless it is in Spanish.
However, everytime I have gone to Alaska, it has been through Oregon...so you are so right about that.
So annoying.

Robin Shelley said...

That damned Oregon just seems to be in your way no matter where you go, OMR!
0:=

Anonyriver said...

"In The Matrix, Morpheus asked Neo how deep into the rabbit hole he wanted to go. We call it the wormhole. How deep into the wormhole do you want to go? There's only one way to find out Right?"

Is that parking spot a rabbit hole, or a wormhole from the emerald triangle to the blue emerald where ultrabeings and superseers and third i piercings are common? Welcome to the mystery schools of the Erniverse Suzy!

suzy blah blah said...

Technically, to go straight through the earth to China, one needs to leave from Chile or Argentina. I will never believe a Bugs Bunny cartoon again
* * * * * * * * * * *
well obviously youve gnot been too far down the bunnyhole, or up, (depending on the position of your moon --retrograde pluto position or slipping minnie a mickey.. also gnown as the mickynary position).
Cuz if you had youd gnow that theres this matrix at the center of the earth thats called the emerald triangle. It shifts one's perceptional lens so that one re-pierces the earth's surface at 23degrees China. If you start out in chile youll end up on the shitter with diarrhea. You need to practice rabbit holing a bit --its fun. But first you need to get your poetic license.

suzy blah blah said...

Is that parking spot a rabbit hole, or a wormhole from the emerald triangle to the blue emerald * * * * *

or is it a secret passageway from the mysteries of the blue moon to the loading dock of the BCiA?

Robin Shelley said...

The Robin flies but not the Rasta Colors & not nearly as high as The Stolen Soaring Eagle. Nor is The Robin as close to the center of the BCiA as Suzy is!!!

there are other squawfish in the river said...

suz-- i shoulda gnowed you would catch on so quick(ly)(I added the "ly" for Indie, gotta toss her some good grammar now and than).

it pains me to talk of rabbitholing while i am in celibratory mourning for what never wuz... my little... jezebelle! with her human nature showing? i guess we all got some.


i took some noetic piescents from your other threadcomments and they were quite tasty in a half-baked alice in tundraland kinda way.

ps. u are giving away a lot of secrets of the inner circle, that 23 degree stuff is usually gnot talked about without first doing "the handshake" with One of us. ernie gnos.

suzy blah blah said...

Oh no gulp! Suzys busted. Blogcrime does NOT pay folks, (if it did i'd be rich) ... but i shouda gnown better than to fool around with such a superb researchest as omr. He's got the proof and Suzy cant deny it. Yes people, thats me on the left, frowning at Cruz's crotch-ety antics. Yep, Suzy got caught by the BCiA, omr provided the well researched and looked over link, and Mr. E will most likely verify the picture of S and that will be that -- caught with my shades up --yikes!

But by the time you read this Suzy will be half way to Oregon where i plan to be hiding out at my friend Alaska's crib --hahahaha.

huggles,
s

ps --er, my apologies to Indie for the gram, er, but i mean like wtf teach, i mean like hey times are toough but hey, if it wasnt that good.. yuo gnow, or enough.. well next time it'll be the killa purple rainbow and totalaly free of punKuation or other comma-on banalitys' --period! i just needa find out how to put purple font on this hearthing and then i promice u, itll be the kind shit -- like back inna daze --no what i mean? :o)

spyrock said...

back inna daze when the people were leaving the city for the country, some of them talked about this place up in oregon called trunesian woods sort of east of cave junction. it was sort of like the mystery spot in the santa cruz mountains where marbles roll uphill, they said that the bigfoot had a big rabbit hole there that they could star trek through. maybe oregon found it and thats why he wound up in alaska.

Anonymous said...

He may be space spelunking, but I am purty sure he is sawing logs this time of the morn, one way or another.
Sure wish we could get his thoughts on the subject here.

Anonymous said...

Olmanriver is wrong, Suz is right. Buster Keaton was quite the rabbithole explorer previous to Omr's cartoon geography classes: In the final scenes of Hard Luck:
"I got out by a country club, in an open-air swimming pool, and there was a very high diving platform there for some professionals. So just to show off in front of the girls lounging around the pool, I climbed up to the top of it, and posed, and did a beautiful swan dive off the top of that thing. And I missed the pool! I made a hole in the ground, disappeared; people came up and looked down in the hole, shrugged their shoulders, and the scene faded out. It faded in to a title that said "Years Later," and faded back in to a scene: the swimming pool now was empty, cracked, nobody around the place, deserted. And I came up out of the hole with a Chinese wife and two kids, and pointed up to the platform and said, "I dove off there--that's what happened."

suzy blah blah said...

well thier you go omr gots outsmarted by one of Suzys newly recruited research team. Sloppy research is the scourge of the bolgoshere --hmph! But Suzys team is onnit, omr probly was thinkin of Jenefer Cruz again, and so he fckd up the details --and the devils in the blue chrystal... but thats OK we forgive him cuz we gnow that if you start down the rabbit hole from a swimming pool in Hoolywood yuo get to China, but if you leave from the Void aka, the Empty, aka the EmT, youll come back with a Thai bride. Or as they say in MrE school --the Void leads to the Broid... ie enlightenedment is in the conjoining of the Poles. eg Poland is the center of the Universe, as exemplified in the Dean James movie, East of Keaton.

Thnx Anon for the link, its cewl the way that accidents led to some of the gags like losing his shoes and getting chased by rocks and boulders.

Ernie Branscomb said...

Buster Keaton certaily gives a whole new meaning to the term "Swimming Hole".

Yahoo Speaks said...

If Omr was half the re:re:searcher you folks seem to think he is, he would have come up with fascinating details for your blososphers.
For instance, there are actually hole obstructionists who think nothing of using a "corrective squirt" on the hole construction workers.
Counterpunch informed us that Uncle Sam and the bankers are meeting in the hole to China, so expect delays, but if you are carrying gold they will hurry you through.
Another hole to avoid is Josh's Slow Hole to China which will end you up in a teacher's purgatory. If you thought teaching English to bloggers was frustrating...don't go there.
This songwriter made an album out of the experience of digging another slow hole:
"Dig a slow hole to China
Blacker than a miner
No turn un-stoned I trample
Hold my candle's handle"...

And a Mayanesqe chorus:
"If it's too shallow then dig it more deep
If it's too narrow then dig it more wide
If you see a point of light
Shake hands with the other side
If it's too shallow then dig it more deep
If it's too narrow then dig it more wide
If you see the point of light
Shake hands with the other side"
Awwww.

Got your back Suzy Blah Blah.
What have you got to say Omr?

omr said...

uhhhh...Canton, Illinois was named in 1825 by its first settler who believed it was the antipode of that Chinese town.

Anonymous said...

I would think Suzy would know about the Kola Superdeep Borehole.

Ernie Branscomb said...

”Despite the scientists' efforts to combat the heat by refrigerating the drilling mud before pumping it down, at twelve kilometers the drill began to approach its maximum heat tolerance. At that depth researchers had estimated that they would encounter rocks at 100°C (212°F), but the actual temperature was about 180°C (356°F)– much higher than anticipated. At that level of heat and pressure, the rocks began to act more like a plastic than a solid, and the hole had a tendency to flow closed whenever the drill bit was pulled out for replacement. Forward progress became impossible without some technological breakthroughs and major renovations of the equipment on hand, so drilling stopped on the SG-3 branch. If the hole had reached the initial goal of 15,000 meters, temperatures would have reached a projected 300°C (572°F).

As anyone should have guessed, the secret to drilling a hole through center of the Earth depends entirely on adequate Refrigeration Technology.

Having solved the refrigeration problem, the rest is simple:
On the surface of the Earth there are four directions, North, East, South, and West. When drilling through the center of the Earth there are only TWO directions, Down and Up, Just like everything is South from the North Pole. North and South are 180 degrees apart, the same as Down and Up are 180 degrees apart.

To get to China on the surface you can go straight North to the pole then go straight south to China. When going through the center of the Earth you go straight down to the center of the Earth then straight up to China. So it all works on paper.

Anonymous said...

"Cooler heads" have prevailed once again!

Anonymous said...

and to think all this time I thought it was a parking space.

Anonymous said...

When things here seems to revolve around cooling y'all are wrong! You do not need cooling if the bits you are drilling with are sharp! Ernie thinks refridgeration is the answer and all it amounts to is MAGIC! When drilling through the earth and you want bits, call suzy blah blah and ask her for my number.

Oregon

spyrock said...

grandma nye always told me that the undertow would take me all the way to china when i was a little boy beach combing with her in marin county. she used to make art objects out of the rocks and shells she found. we were usually the only people on these beaches back in the 50s some of them were up a farmers road in what is pt reyes national seashore today. throughout my entire surfing experience up and down the california coast, i've continued to experience that pull to china. a rip tide at manressa state beach was taking me to china just the other day. but i think it's just one big circle because i find these glass ball floats from time to time that come to california all the way from china. so it seems to be a two way rabbit hole. some people like to surf and some people like to drill. each to his own.

spyrock said...

we saw star trek last night and they were rabbit holing all over the place. even into the future, back into the past, by the time you got out of there you didn't know if you were a clingon or a rumulon and capt kirk seemed more like the lawyer than the one i used to see on tv.

suzy blah blah said...

1. back in time to
when the white night was talking bakedwords
and the pink queen giving head
back in time to the abaloney ballonyroom
where they fill more and kill less
and back in time to Elvis and Jack
Kerouac back to Sinatra, Ella, Satchamo
singin' on the sunny side of the the street da ma ba da boi..
put your troubles in a pocket with a hole in it...

2. back in time the dresses on the manikins going up and down like in hG Wells -- the Time Machine -- back to Mary Shelly's Frankenstien
is she related to Robin Shelly and
who was married to Mary back in time? back in time to Kubla Khan and the pyramids, Suzy, standing by the nile a black cat
back to the dinosaur the neandrathal and Kirk...

3. back to the beginning before true and false.. before light
before heavy and before the tree fell or the angel
back to the Void, to memory, to the conjunction of the linear progressions meeting with its perpendicular twin at the beginning of right NOW where there is --peace but i am human and have a pink pen to write my name and here i am --LOL!]\\

i think there four i forgot,
s

omr said...

A high five on fourgettin'.

Because I am gettin' better at that all the time, I better tell my travelogue while it is still fresh. A yellowfinch on the porch is serenading me so sweetly it is all I can do to type.
Today was the day I had planned to raid the Laytonville chevron for Vol 1 of Through the Eyes of the Elders, go to Covelo to buy their libraries local history book, and then on to the Willits Mendocino museum to stock up on books for some libraries I want to get goin'.
I got up on what seemed like the right side of bed, but didn't feel like it most of the morning...leg hurt, mind was angry and spacey, but I set out south.
Forty-five not-so-aware miles later I grabbed four Elders (a volume 1!, and a set for a new friend from the Burger Crik area), paid for the books and $40 in gas. I returned to my car and drove off excitedly, planning to look at volume 1 at the Covelo turnoff. As I approached that turnoff I noticed my gas gauge was on EmT and I cursed mightily as I turned around at the Covelo exit and returned to Laytonville. Now, if we imagine feathers flying out of the fouled mouthed as they profanitize, I most certainly filled the car with feathers several times over. I was so mad at my feeblemindedness and then mad at myself for getting mad. Fourgetting all I have learned here at this post to tie our "human nature" to, I declared that's it, my energy is not good enough for this medecine trip and I am going home! The gas gauge turning red south of Laytonville did not improve my disposition... I expected the gas was in someone else's tank by now and I'd have to pay again.
After I waited in line hoping to talk to the same teller, a very pleasant calm native man said they had cleared the pump, and asked which pump did I want to use my $$) on. Ahhhh, everything was ok again, and I felt back on my little "redroad" again.

end of part 1

omr said...

Back to the Covelo road, my energy opened up and I so enjoyed the lovely river valley and the spectacular blueschist(?) rocks. I noticed off to the right(or south) where Bloody Run must have been. After a lot of level road you climb up to the plaque and pullout overlooking Round Valley and it is one beautiful view. Who could not be moved? Descending into the valley I was happy to see many old oaks still standing. I drove into Covelo, half of which was boarded up, the rest exudes poverty. There were three highway patrol cars in the very small downtown. I drove first to a good sized building being redone inside for their new library/museum. From there I was directed to the Covelo library, a small low budget affair with a few meagre cultural displays. They had a good selection of native and local history, surprisingly good.
I photocopied a little out of one out-of-print book and bought their Families pictorial history,and had a nice chat with the native librarian. I enquired whether the reservation had a library, and she said they had given their books to the covelo library already. I then asked her if she knew if the Cahto reservation had a library...bingo...she said she would call her son-in-law who was on their tribal council and find out. He told her they had a few and wanted more, when I asked if they were open to donated books, he responded awesome. we will talk and see if I can help some. The good medecine was flowing again. My attention was drawn to the north end of Round Valley, next time I will drop in from the Trinities.
I stopped and got the skinny on the ways in and out of the valley and chose to take the Poonkinney road back over to Dos Rios and the Dos Rios road back to Laytonville. I know from Penny that this is part of the old Cahto trail that so many indians were shuffled along as well as the beef from Round Valley to the Mendocino reservation.
The insides of the bowl of the Round Valley are a bit chewed up from logging on the western side, so I drove up through a lot of manzanita and underbrush and small oaks for the climb up over the first ridges. I was thinking about all this stuff we have been talking about here on Ernie's Place, and I had just thought now how does one be a steward to this scarred land when I had to screech to a halt for four large feathers in the road. I gnow enough to leave an offering, and did. They weren't owl feathers. I wrapped them sensitively and smiled... best feathers I have found since '77.
Once over the first set of mountains you wind and drop down into a very comfortable and lovely area called Poonkinny. The old books said many indians lived in that area, a lot of rancherias were there. I really liked that area.The Dos Rios road was very pretty like Ernie said Burger Creek was particularly sweet. From there you come back down the hills overlooking Laytonville and past the quarry and you are back in town.
spyrock...my new friend with a little history in the Burger Creek area said he had kayaked north on the eel after putting in at Dos Rios and he said that Spyrock and Shell beach were easy to get to that way. He said that the Covelo rez Indians had been deeded a number of archeological sites along the river, that may be one. He said it was the emergence point for their creation myths (Yuki?). I can see why you are drawn to do a Soul-retrieval+ there.
So that is my "redroad" travel tale... a tale of human nature and good medecine interwoven, just as it is. I thank all the relations.

ps. Penny, I grabbed the last two Volume 1's I saw at the Chevron, unless they have a stash underneath somewhere.

spyrock said...

i'm still reeling from reading genocide and vendetta again and river makes the day trip. i was kevin spacey early in the day as well. thinkin alot about my uncle and grandfather. about how tough my uncle was until his wife died and how sad he was after that until he turned into this sweet old cowboy that all the younger generation loved. my uncle lived his entire life as a cowboy after his wife died. he ran a large ranch until he died. when his wife was still alive they ran a dairy, a few beef cattle and had their own rodeo on friday nights with lights back in the 50s. my early years were all about working on a cattle ranch, dairy and working the rodeo. i watched the old westerns for hours as a kid and made my own westerns on the living room floor with playing cards afterwards. so hearing this story of round valley and the yolly bolly explains alot to me. it explains a fearless part of me that otherwise there is no explanation for. every spring my uncle would take his cattle to the mountains. a lot of different places but more recently a place called panoche. there all his grandkids and my kids would spend time in the mountains with jerry ann, my oldest cousin who spent the most time at spyrock. those were great times for those kids.
my uncle was a different person to them, he was round valley yolly bolly to me.
the yuki history was pretty much wiped out. so if you find something specific let me know. i know that the ta'no'm or slope people lived along the river between spyrock and dos rios. to me the eel river between dos rios and alderpoint is like a crack into another dimension, taking a kayak trip that 40 miles would be life changing, there are people who plan on doing that in the future. making camp grounds every so many miles down river so kids can enjoy the experience.
ridgewalker says he has a girlfriend up there that knows everybody and can get the key to all the gates and we can get to the river no problemo. no one will shoot at us or anything. but that hasn't been my experience when i've actually tried to go to spyrock. next time, stop at the cemetery. valley view i think, its a right on your way out of town. but otherwise, sounds like you had a fantastic trip. and a few of susies tail feathers to boot.
i've been playing cowboys and indians all my life and im still loving it. although there are scary people on both sides, the good people back then were just so beautiful. in the sermon in 1956 for my great grandma's funeral they said that while she had lived most of her life where there was no church, we know her life displayed the true teachings of christ our savior. her family will do well to pattern their lives after hers. those present to pay their respects will long rmember the wonderful lady she was.

omr said...

spyrock... I can feel a lot from your post as you sort through all your feelings and connections. Must be something to have so many relatives, and your past in our wonderful cowboy and indian country.
I did go to the Round Valley cemetery but I had no attraction yesterday to seeing all the old family graves, odd as that struck me at the time.
In my hurried recounting I failed to mention how small that area got from traveling it.
Now we have to be careful in what we say on these blogs... so even tho suz has butt-witted me a few times...I don't dare boot her tailfeathers.

suzy blah blah said...

OMR how in fucking hell is a Suzy 2 gnow which side of the bed is the right side godamnit shit fuck piss cunt cock whore bitch hell damn shit fuck/!!! Now you got me so confused that i thought 4 a moment that i transplanted all my crystals on the left side of the featherbed but then i found out that if i simply turn my head around * * * * * the left side becomes the right side.. (thats the trick to coping in this dualistic universe --take the time to turn yr head around LOL!)

--so anyway but also thnx 4 the offering, yummy! And while i'm here i must say that you are really really going for it in a big time impressive professional manner with the cowboys n indians re-research fieldtrip-triping and running back n 4th 4 gas down along the covello library pass where the stagecoach still runs along side you in telilladvised memories of the lone ranger and tanto crossing your forehead flashing like lightning over the masked mountain between your ears and returning you 2 your senses to double doublecheck on your gasgage and on your self too and on your memory of yourself also and on whats real and whats bullshistory and whats just forgotten nonessential details of repetitious redundancies and everything like that and everything else and so 4th ..

It's all coming, you see, together holistically in synchronized anachronistic harmony now as the universe works to align your gas tank with the kozmik pumpnozzle, but just 2 questions i have now 4 you 2 gage if you please..

1. if my feathers fell before you got there, did they make a sound?
3. was it the same squeaky sound that my pink marker pen makes when i write my tag in Gville?

circling in a hold pattern,
s

Omr said...

whew suz...my head does turn around a few times reading h'yar.
i see you gno how to have feathers come out of your fingertips which are the extensions of your wings, which were made for circling.

1)the sound of those road feathers falling preceded the actual sight of them landing, just as thunder precedes lightning. there was a forty foot dead fir trunk with many short moss covered branches standing there, listening. did that evade your question?

3)it's all Music to me

thanks for sharing pieces of your wings.
---------------------------

I am just in my first four months of reading on the settler/indian topic, and thanks to serious professionals who have trod this info road there is lots more to go. Yes, there is so much repeated hearsay and bullshistory to discern through...my senior advisors, Ernie and Ben have helped a great deal with that. In a few years I will have more of an overview.

Usually before I get out of bed and establish gratitude in my heart, or say something positive to my hairy legged sleeping companion. Right before you fall asleep and immediately upon waking are little doorways into the subconscious mind when you can consciously create a happier groove to follow. Yesterday morning I lurched out of bed quickly to get to an appointment, and failed to find my joy before my ol'aches starting complaining. Maybe if you are happy any bedside'll do, or as Confusion sez:
"The side left was the right one, and thus was left".

Anonymous said...

omr.
Congratulations on your trip to Covelo and back thru Poonkinney/Dos Rios. It's a neat countryside through there. I find myself back in the era daydreaming when I'm there.
I'll stop by Chevron tomorrow and make sure they still have Vol. I. As I mentioned before, Vol I was our first attempt and there are a lot of inacuracies in it, but I still love the book. Without a beginning we'd have nothing. It's a little hard to read as it wasn't edited, so as to capture the interviewees personality. I'll deliver books to Ernie soon.

Penny

omr said...

Thank you Penny. I like the conversational style of Vol 1 and the early pictures are ever so valuable. I learned that Indian is the best word to use, and that Ruby Branscomb and your Dad, Ben, were highly thought of by the Indians.
The Elder series is a wonderful service and a good read. We thank you and your helpers.

Fierce Bookhunter said...

Today I rode my pony south to gather more books for the project. My thoughts were abnormally quiet and I really saw the landscape in 3D as I drove through beautiful northern Mendocino county.
Foolishly, I didn't check ahead and both the Mendo Museum and Ukiah Museum were closed, so I decided to scour the used book stores, and made some good finds, mostly in the better used store in Willits.
The best part of the journey was meeting an 80 year old rancher who came into the rock shop I was in. He had a glass covered box with a mandala of a dozen or so obsidian arrowheads he had knapped. Schmoozer that I am, we struck up a conversation and I got his life story, starting with his having been born in the Willits hospital two years after it opened. He talked about plowing up arrowheads on some of the ranches he had or worked on, and I heard a lot about his time in Eden Valley, and his family arriving in 1862...the McCabes I think. He had wonderful carriage for that age, which I complimented him on, and I suggested that he write his history down. I told him how valuable it was for my sister and I to have taped and transcribed about 12 hours of my mother telling her life story. That was a good encounter for both of us.
Sometime this week I will get to rendezvous with the rancheria contact and find out what they are needing, and drop off some books for the adults.
I am too old to be in awe of anyone, but it is an honor to get to meet the man who I got connected with. Penny could guess the lineage.

the saga continues...

omr said...

The eagle has landed. Near the end of my longride, just outside of Kettenpom a large raptor with a snake in his talong circled above a grove on the mostly meadowed slope. From underneath, the wing feathers were solid golden-tan with black tips running the full length of the wing. I watched a few minutes of circling and soaring, and, of course, the bird ducked into the trees as I reached for the binoculars. (note to self-have binocs on front seat next time). And I saw a hawk with a snake on the ride down from Alderpoint. That was the end of a beautiful ride!

My meeting with the rancheria folks went well, really nice people. I made my donation and they were very appreciative, and I told 'em I would get a book drive together. This idea is just a little tiny sprout just now, and even talking too much about it before it gets a form or shape can be risky...but the seed germinated here on Ernie's blog, so it is right to share.
We want a focus first on getting children's books together, and as they get the space together, a full on library where people can come and read and get internet access.
This is the vision. Warm it and hold it gently for awhile. It is still young.

omr said...

After my smile and laughter filled rancheria meeting, I rode the old Cahto trail back over to Covelo and dropped off a few boxes of books at the Covelo library. I made an arrangement to cart-off any of their unwanted books and store them for the Cahto project.
This time I rode north out of Round Valley through increasingly more oaks than the agricultural southern part of the valley. The Reservation is in the northwestern part of the valley. The pavement ended and up Mina Road I went on a two and one half hour tour of a lovely area. Lucky ranchers. You go past the Mina Ranch which dates back to 1860. I saw where Hull's Valley Road turned off to the valley where the Haydon's lived.
After much winding up and down, the road follows the top of a steep ridgeline as you get closer to Kettenpom. If you look steeply down into the valley to the west there is a line of deciduous green trees in a thick line, I think that that is the Lone Pine Ranch. Saw an awful lot of places I could live!
Well, we are full circle to the start of the previous comment.
Offering thanks to all my relations!

Anonymous said...

omr
You should be an author because you're an excellent writer. I so enjoy reading the detailed descriptions of your recent ventures. It seems that the more one learns and sets foot on the more passionate we become - historically minded - it truly gets into your blood. Thank you for sharing your information.
Penny

Anonymous said...

Spy.
I wish you'd been around during the time we were interviewing for the Elder Books. Your stories are great.You're lucky that someone left you with so much history.
Penny

omr said...

Thanks Penny, it really does make the history come alive to visit these areas. I can't get over what a huge area George White controlled. One of the things we moderners have to remember is that civilization wasn't along the 101 corridor, but rather the inland stage route and along the coastal roads. I know that that is stating the obvious, yet we tend to be highway 101 centric in our viewing our area, but that is not where the action was over 100 years ago.

During my Cahto meeting, I almost claimed to be a Branscomb cousin but I chickened out. Instead I said I was a friend of the Branscomb and one of the fellas lit up and said Benny Branscomb.
He hadn't hardly known him, but his reputation with the Indians was good enough to light up one man's face when he heard the name.
Thought you would appreciate that Penny.

I am still marveling at the beautiful golden broad winged bird with the snake that I saw. I would have thought that I would have seen his redtail as that description fits best, but it was the goldentan wings with a black line at the back edge that grabbed my attention. Maybe it was a semi-mature version of a redtail hawk.
Any ideas anyone?

spyrock said...

thanks penny,
i have a cousin penny and she knows more about spyrock than i do. and i don't really consider myself as an elder yet. but thanks for thinking that i could contribute to mendocino county history. things do work differently for me now, as i don't seem to have to do everything myself anymore. river has taken up the quest and gone more places than i have dreamed of yet. he is coming up with great stuff for me as have many others on ernies blog. so much of my family history i've learned right here. and i can't wait to hear the next story. i will be sure to stop at that chevron station i think we did the last time i was in town and pick up the books you are selling there. but this summer we are off to new mexico to see the grandfather and grandmother before we do anything else.