Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Reading test to see if you qualify to read on this blog

Read the following with out thinking about it.
700 MUCH 71M3 0N Y0UR H4ND5? 7RY 7H15!

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG
7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N
7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 5AY 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.

If you were able to read the above message you aren't alone. Some people can read it out loud as fast as regular print. I have to admit that I have an unfair advantage, I have practiced by reading Suzy Blah Blah.


Ernie Branscomb said...

It says:
"Too much time on your hands? try this!

This message serves to prove how our minds can do amazing things! Impressive things! In the beginning it was hard but now, on this line your mind is reading it automatically with out even thinking about it, be proud! only certain People can read this.

Please say if you can read this."

Did you pass or fail?

Ekovox said...

No problem. Not even a stumble. Of course, the Klamath-Trinity drainages, er, watersheds, produced a water that contained higher amounts of thiamine and therefore allowed us to use a larger portion of our brains. Ya'll had to go and find some other type of mind expansion deals. We just got it from sturgeon poop in the Trinity River.

Anne on a Mouse said...

Suzy has written very many poems, and song lyrics, and quite a few short stories, as well as three full length novels. One of her manuscripts, a novel set in ancient Egypt with a protaganist who is a time traveling cat who journeys back and forth to modern northern CA., was accepted by a reputable publisher, if they could edit the typos and misspellings. Suzy refused.

Ernie Branscomb said...

The publisher made a big mistake by not publishing Suzy’s exact words. I know that she thinks that I'm a "pig headed lout", and she continuously misjudges me, much to my consternation, but reading her writings is like looking at a well done impressionist painting, her words provide the framework, and your perceptions fill in the details. You can totally “get it”. Once upon a time that type of poetry was in vogue, as in “Jabberwocky” by Lewis Carol.

Of course Lewis Carol had been accused of using (Gasp) drugs. He also wrote Alice In Wonderland.

I enjoy just letting the words flow past my eyes and my mind fills in the details. It’s more fun than pondering Shakespeare.

Tell Suzy’s publisher to call me. I will set him straight. Of course nowadays she could self-publish. Her poetry would even make good coffee table books. I would be glad to sell anything that she writes in our store.
"The Pig Headed Lout.

Ernie Branscomb said...

Lewis Carroll

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Anonymous said...

Ernie, I am sure the term Suzy used was Thick Headed Lout.


suzy blah blah said...

cars exhaust around corner
inkoherant lost pussy cat
blood on her neck
there, flattened on the pavement
in the morning sunlight shaft
where flies are now buzzing
around her
this isnt Saturday morning cartoons
this is reality
in the Emerald Triangle
where when someone hits you
with a hammer
it really hurts
and those stars you see
they are all thats left of your
kitty stumbles onto her feeeet
and on threeee wobbly legs
she espies a pig headed lout ...
she enters his Radiated Shack
hissing, she bites at the
coffee table
and spits out glass

Isis Osirus Horus
and that gurl in the red and blue
feathered vestaments
wind blowing her hair
a small cat untangling her sandle strap
can yuo sea her?
standing in the reeds
hidden in the twilight midst
shes calling to the birds
across de Nile
Waak waa waak

do the bird hear?

Night owl said...

Eye-sis, I-sus,
O siren us, so Siriusly
Horus-sees hawking
Here Say
all Hear and see Here in the Sea

Leaving the reeds for the Water
the no named river flows into the Sea.

Merrily, merely, Hearily, earily... life is but a dream.

spyrock said...

Life is short. Break the rules,forgive quickly,
kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably,
and never regret anything that made you smile.
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we should dance."

~ David Whyte

for sharing your poetry this is someone i see popping up lately.
really good suzy, waak waa waak!!!!!!!!

Ernie Branscomb said...

thick headed Lout

The pig headed lout doesn’t hear the words but feels the pain.
The words are all wrong but the pain is the same.

I’m not that smart I think that she said, I wonder why.
The words are all wrong but the pain is the same, But real men don’t cry.

The wise people know what she said, they wonder why and shake their head.
The words are all wrong but the pain is the same.

She said Thick Headed Lout, but I still wonder why.
The words were all wrong but the pain was the same.

When the words that you paint with were meant to hurt.
The words are all wrong but the pain is the same.

Ross Sherburn said...

Ernie,We've got fog over here this morning,thanks for sending!!!

Ernie Branscomb said...

Our weather forcast says "morning fog, sunny afternoon", but it was drizling enough to wet the pavemnet this morning.

Anne on a Mouse said...

She said Thick Headed Lout, but I still wonder why.

Sorry about your paroxysm. I don't know but it might be of some remedial benefit to consider that her actual words were, "I'm not gonna waste my time posting to the internet only to have some thick headed lout erase it." And she further explained, "i colled him a thick headed lout, i tryed to thini of a more shop worn cliche but i didnnt have tim e to think"

I assumed that she was self-parodying, ie being "loutish", but I guess you'd have to ask her. If it's of any help I'll confide that she calls me things on a nearly daily basis that are a lot more naughty than that. I take them all with a large grain of salt knowing that that's just Suzy. She was raised in a den of pirates.

Ernie Branscomb said...

Thanks Anne
I think that I just wanted to show how really bad that I could be at poetry. Suzy’s struggles in life are pretty evident. I think that one of the reasons that we all like her here is because she is an underdog that keeps up the good fight and we all hope that she wins.

It is obvious that she is smart. How she uses that intelligence seems to be pure, and from the heart.

A bit about me… I was raised, until about ten, without electricity, no flush toilet but an out house, cooked on a woodstove, heated the house that same. But, I had a wonderful and caring family. I was raised with Indian kids at a time that we didn’t know that we were any different, until someone told us. When we played “Cowboys and Indians” most of us wanted to be the Indians, because in our minds they were the most skillful, and they knew more about the land and animals.

Most of what has driven the Laytonville whites and Indians apart is the people that moved here dug up old wounds that were long healed. They told the Indian people that we were the people that stole all their land and killed them, and to make up for “history” they gave then a pension and put them on a reservation.

In the Garberville area nobody gave the local Indians a reservation, a pension, or sympathy. They are all one of the community, they all have jobs and support themselves. They are some of the best people in our town. Many are very successful. I’m sure that they know that they are Indian, and they seem to accept that with a certain depth of pride. Please don’t take that away from us. We are friends! We work, play, and live together, in fact most of us are related. It is no longer the old west.

And, in closing, I think that you know in your heart that I had nothing to do with Suzy’s comments disappearing. I really wouldn’t do that.

Anne on a Mouse said...

I should qualify that by saying they were "good" pirates. Suzy's family weren't ripoffs or cutthroats, they were honest people with big hearts. But they were both musicians and liked to jam and party, and it was often rowdy has hell around there. I can see that some of her boisterous language originated from that. Which was my point about "pirates".

One thing Suzy won't abide is busybodies who don't respect other's privacy. I'm gonna catch hell for this.

Anonymous said...

Oct. 19 2:09 PM,
Ernie, thank you, that was well written and is my thoughts as well.
Since we both grew up in the same environment I know what you are saying. It is the times are changing and I don't seem changing with them.
Sorry for venting on your blog.


spyrock said...

senate republicans just voted down a tax of 5% on anyone earning over a million dollars. in other words, no tax on the first million. 5% on everything over a million. this money would have created 400,000 jobs for first responders and teachers. so here is your criteria for being a one percenter. do you make over a million a year? if not, do you have a rich uncle who makes over a million dollars a year?
do you like millionaires more than the 99% that includes the rest of us? i don't think you qualify.
if you don't make a million dollars a year and you still think that you are a one percenter. what makes you think that?

spyrock said...

just in case you don't listen to a real news station. omar kaddaffy is dead. first bin laden, now kaddaffy. will republicans give obama credit for anything? never did, never will. same ole same ole.
what side are they on. fewer cops more crime. i guess the last of the wild west just got wilder.

Anonymous said...

So, how much do the over 1 million dollar a year folks pay now before another 5% is added on.
Personally I like first responders and teachers and as your vice president said, if the jobs bill doesn't pass there will be more rapes and hold-ups. Of all the rapist that are out there I am sure they are doing cartwheels knowing they can rape more now that there will be 400,000 cops and teachers out there.
As you notice, all the jobs they are talking about are union jobs which computes to more dollars for folks that are running for office.
Like one union official said we support the teachers and we won't support students till they start paying union dues.
This union crap is a money laundering scheme for progressives and you probably know that already.
I don't think there should be any unions in public sector jobs.


Anonymous said...

Know there will be 400,000 less*


spyrock said...

it took bush 8 years and a trillion dollars, and thousands of american lives to kill saddam hussain. it took obama less than a year, a billion dollars, and no americans lost their lives.
kaddaffy was killed as a result of an attack by an american predator drone.

Anonymous said...

What does that have to do with public sector unions?


spyrock said...

i can see your point about unions. my mexican led union made a deal with my company to lower my wage bracket and made it part of the contract. just me specifically. i had to file a grievance after the contract was voted on by the mexicans and accepted pointing out to both the union and the company that my wage rate was protected for a year starting january 1st following the year i worked 1400 hours before the old contract expired. i won and got back pay. i pay $44 a month for the privalege of being in a union that does almost nothing for us. after health care premium weekly deductions, we make less and less as each year passes. you are talking about 6% of the nations workforce. it's a very small percentage. i have no use for unions or health care insurance companies. the latter more than the former. but i was making more money the years we were non-union. so i agree with you. the only good they are is if your mexican boss tries to get you fired for nothing just because they think you are white.
that's happened to me more than once already.

spyrock said...

i don't really know anything about public sector unions. never did that. so i can't comment one way or the other.

C2c said...

My 401K is a 1%er.
But I'm not!

Ernie Branscomb said...

Unions are like salt, You need salt to live, but too much can kill you. Back in history people worked 60 to 72 hours a week for about $2.00 per day, with no vacations. The only time that you got time off was if you were too sick to be productive. If you were only a little bit sick you had to work anyway. You never got paid overtime… So, that was the original reason that we needed unions.

Just as always, and with everything, power corrupts. The more powerful, the more corrupt. The very powerful unions played games with the union worker’s pension fund and somehow magically transferred it from your pocket to theirs.

Part of the reason that jobs left the U.S. is because the unions became so powerful, and corrupt, that business people couldn’t get a decent return on their investment. The fat cats moved the jobs offshore and made such a killing that they decided to stay there. When the U.S. government started talking about fair balance of trade and tariffs, the fat cats were already so rich that they just bought the media. Then they told us who to elect and continued to bleed America dry. When America finally went dry. The bought-and-paid-for politicians borrowed money from our grandchildren to “create jobs”. What actually happened was the money went straight to China, and a certain percentage lined the fat cats pockets. Now we are back in the same hole, the people are mad as hell, and they are not going to take it anymore. They will play hell to get us to approve another “bailout”, which is another way of saying that they need to steal some more money

What should happen is that our politicians should place tariffs on goods from unfair offshore competitions, and place restrictions on unions, and bring our jobs back to America.

Another problem with unions is like Oregon said. They don’t have people’s best interest at heart, only the interest of the people that pay them dues. So, of course, they are going to want students to pay too much for tuition. Maybe the students should form their own union and go on strike until tuition comes down.

Anyway, like I said, too much union is like too much salt… it can kill you.

charlie two crows said...

Your reading test is (Trash) according to a new book titled; The Great Typo Hunt;
Two Friends Changing The World One Correction At A Time!
By Authors, Jeff Deck and Ben Herson. Jeff says typo's are Pollution! Current Americans can't spell!

Anonymous said...

But C2C's, some of the current Americans can read. I don't have trouble with misspeeled words as much as I do upper and lower case letters mixed into one word.


Anonymous said...

It's okay if Suzy does that because she does it on purpose.


kaivalya said...

This post makes me want to put on my Ernie voice and educate folks about the rich history of l33t speak and phreaking in the early day of the Internet...

Ahh, those were the good old days of gopher and usenet and baud modems, while the kiddies with their l33t would IRC until the early hours of morning until the bots banned them for DDOS attack on their local EFnet server. Those were the good old days for the 31337 script kiddies to get their phreak on the phones too.