Thursday, August 11, 2011

Petite-Three Ernie Sandwiches and Beer.

Well.... Recipe to go with beer :

Sandwich depicted NOT Ernie sandwich.

When eating Ernie sandwiches with beer, it’s best to try to appear like it is elegant…

Sprinkle a little powdered chicken stock on the sliced ham and let it marinate in the refrig overnight, or longer, no biggie. Or you can do like I do. I usually don't think about it in time to marinate, so I rub the dry chicken stock into the ham vigorously. Then pretend that it has been elegantly marinated. I know, I should be calling it maranaDe, because it's more elegant.

Fry the ham in hot oil to seal in the juices. Caramelize the surface slightly.

Use Raisin Bread. Toast the raisin bread slightly. To what I call soft wiggle.

Spread one piece of toast with Nuefachatel cheese. You can use regular old cream cheese, but lie and say that it is Nuefachatel, because that is more elegant.

Then spread some very thinly sliced Walla Walla onions on top the cream cheese. Regular onions are okay as long as they are mild enough to pretend that they are the very elegant Walla Wallas.

Then, fit a slice of the chicken stock ham over the top of the onions.

Spread the other piece of toast with peanut butter, then spread the jelly on that. The kind of jelly is optional. Apple is always a good choice. Quince is best, and also most elegant. Grape gives a good flavor, but if you want to try something wildly different use Jalapeño jelly, or mint.

Place the jelly side down on top of the slice of ham, I know that you would have done that anyway, but it's an important step. Some people might have made it jelly side out and been disappointed.... Push toothpicks through the sandwich, cut the edges off and set aside to be used later.Then cut the sandwich into 1 inch square pieces. You can be creative and cut them into small triangles and call the “petite-threes” it’s a real conversation starter.

Now place a very large stack of these on a serving tray and place them on a table. Then tell everybody not to touch them that it’s for the PTA fair. (I learned that from my wife)

Grab a frosty mug out of the freezer, and pour a mug of Guiness Beer from the tapper. Hold the Mug by the handle with your little finger extended to the side. That’s the most elegant way to hold it.

The smart people in the crowd will already be stealing the Petite-Three Ernie sandwiches. Then just join the rest of the people eating them. It’s fun to see how long it takes for the dumb people to figure out that they are not going to make it to the PTA fair.

When all of the Petite-threes are gone, put the bowl of edge cuttings on the table because after a few Guiness', any semblance of elegance is gone and people will be glad to have them.

I dirty double dog dare you to try them!


Ernie Branscomb said...

Oooooh, Ooooooh... Another very good sandwich, that everybody will like is, Raisin Bread with peanut butter and apple jelly with, Bacon and sharp Cheddar cheese added.
There is just something about the sweet cinnamon aroma about raisin bread toast the blends all flavors together into sweet perfection.

If you happen to be a vegetarian, replace the bacon with Soy bako-bits or smoked tofu.

Hey, vegetarians are people too. I had one as a friend once.

Ernie Branscomb said...

The vegetarian movement, led by Dr. Martin Luther Green, brought them out of the darkness and into the accepted world, where they were judged not for the carrot color of their skin but for the content of their granola.

They are now newscasters, movie stars, chefs, and often comment on this blog. So, we should all remember to be accepting.

Ernie Branscomb said...

I'm the only one here tonight aren't I?

Ernie Branscomb said...

It must be nice to have lives.

Ross Sherburn said...

I'm here also,but I just had a Ribeye,fresh off the Grill!!!

Ernie Branscomb said...

My favorite cut! That and tri-tip.

Ross Sherburn said...

Ernie, I just turned 60 years old a couple of months ago. I'm getting "fat" in the belly just like Larry Brown was when he was 40years old!
Guess its the good life now? LOL!!

Too much good eatin'$ drinkin'

Bunny said...

Ernie, I don't like cream cheese. What can I substitute for that ingredient?

Ernie Branscomb said...

Swiss or gruyere.

Anthony Bourdain said...

No garnish? No sprig of parsley?

The Editors said...

Ernie, we were at the fair savoring the aromas of the cart cuisine. But, we are going to build your special South Fork Ernie Special and give you a fair review on your delectable comestible.

We may have to add pickled jalapeno peppers to add a bit of kick to your concoction.